me and mine

August 10, 2007

 Saturday, November 18, 2006

 i have had this urge to write for quite sometime. but it has always been like somebody asking you to make a speech and your mind goes blank. only in my case, i consider speaking itself an ordeal, be it public speaking, small talk or just day-to-day talking. on the other hand, i can communite in the written form better. simply because, my mind is occupied with typing that it has no time to analyze the flow of words. and, there is no rush, i can spell out the words in my own time. also, it could be that nobody is reading as i am writing so my mind is relieved of the task of anticipating and reacting to the audience’s response.

anyways, that pretty much is my problem: reacting to things. i would like to blame it on the amount of coffee i used to drink that has frayed my nerves for life. for which again, i have nobody but myself to blame. but what about before the time i started drinking coffee?!! then i was a baby, and since i couldnt make decisions for myself, god decided i should have the best people to do that for me. so he picked my parents. as a bonus he even made sure i had the best brother in the world… correction in all worlds. then my mind started taking a life of its own. i grew up. and though i have made mistakes, both big and small, god made sure i didnt make mistakes in things that actually matter. yes god again stepped in and sent another angel. (there were also aunts and uncles and friends who played a major role, which i will write about in another blog… but coming back to what i was saying…) little did the angel know that he was going to be shackled with a devil for life. hee hee!

yes. it is karthik i am talking about. well its been exactly 7 seven years since i met him. was it love at first sight? depends on how you see it. whenever you meet somebody, he/she makes an impression on you. if you are proved right you feel like you have known all along. this doesnt mean i knew he was my soulmate the first sight. but when i knew, i felt like i had always known. to me, his charm has only grown and grown; yes, it was love at first sight, it is love at every sight… every thought. when we met, i was intrigued. when we met again later, we were playing cards with a bunch of people, some of them were kids. the last round only he and a kid were left playing each other, he let the kid win, but not in an obvious way. he lost the game and won my heart. till date i am thankful there was no other girl around (my fortune, his misfortune!). somethings are meant to be. so are we. there is no but-s, if-s or so-s.

today i have reason to be happy that i react to things… maybe even over-react. karthik calls me “the reactor”. i call it a gut-feeling, instinct… sometimes it comes in over-doses! some things feel right. some things dont, my adverse reaction teaches me to stay away… or sometimes to try and set it right (sometimes backfires)! it is the same instinct that drew me to karthik, proof enough not to distrust it. some company bring out the worst in me. those are tough times. some, make me see the purpose of my living in this world. karthik is one such person not only to me, but to many.

if i am “the reactor”, he is “the pacifier”.


One Response to “me and mine”

  1. Swapna Says:

    It felt so nice after learning about u and karthik, Though I dont know Karthik in person I hope he is all that and much more……..
    Congrats to u and to ur pacifier 🙂

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